How To Live With 40 of Your Closest Friends

For my last "What I've Learned" blog of the semester, I tried to think of what was most memorable this semester. As should be expected, the most significant things I've learned have been outside of the classroom. Don't get me wrong; I've actually truly enjoyed my classes this semester. I've finally been able to get into my major and those classes have been crazy interesting. When I recap this semester, though, the most important things I've learned can be encompassed under "how to live with 40 girls in one house." Yes, I realize this may sound a little anti-climatic and silly, but living in my sorority house has not only thought me a lot about others, but also myself. For example…

Being a Psychology major, I consider myself to be pretty in tune with the emotions of people around me. A major part of the career I'm pursuing consists of being able to read peoples' current state and adjust how I respond to them based on that reading. Not surprisingly, I've been exposed to a wealth of emotions and crises while living in the house. While I thought I could read people well before, I have become exponentially better at this skill over these last few months. Facial expressions can tell you so much about a persons' day, and all too often people's words don't match what their body language is telling you. So much of being a good friend, in my opinion, is taking the time to look past what people say and really challenge yourself to be intentional with your actions where your friendships are concerned. Most of the time, it is way too easy to just content yourself with the easy answer, "I'm fine" and never question further. That, however, inhibits your friendships to the bare minimum. I'm not saying I'm the best friend ever by any stretch of the imagination, but living with 40 girls for three months has definitely made me a better and more intentional friend. I think that's one of the best things to learn in life and a skill you should never stop working on. 

On a different note, living with that many of your close friends also tests your patience- not just sometimes, but all the time. Again, this is going to sound overdone, but living in the house has made me more selfless. There is not a moment of peace in that house. Borrowing is really the only constant in that building- emotions, feelings, and stress-levels are ever changing. There is not a time were someone doesn't need something from someone else. Although this may sound annoying (sometimes it is), it has made me stop and realize how many favors I ask of others and reconsider how I respond when others ask something of me. After this semester, I am much more patient with others making noise when I'm trying to study or lending out half of my possessions to a million different people or even doing little favors for others. I have never considered myself a patient person, so I am really thankful for that lesson I learned this year. 

I could go on and on about the hundred of little things living in the house taught me. I mean, let's be honest, living in a house full of 20-year-old women is not the easiest task. But that's exactly why it's been so good for me. Of all the things I've learned in the classroom this semester, none of them would be anything if I didn't have people I loved around me. All of the goofy and strange things that have happened this semester have made me a better person and friend, and for that I am eternally grateful. 

Conversation Partner 5

     If you’ve never seen a “Telenovela” (Spanish Soap Opera), you haven’t lived. I know this sounds extreme, but it’s true. If you think American soaps are dramatic, you won’t even know what to do with yourself after watching Telenovela. 

It’s no secret that Spanish speakers in general exaggerate- the entire language in itself is exaggerated. Spanish speakers are more expressive, loud, and theatrical as a rule than are English speakers. Take all of that into account and then add the ridiculously complex/dramatic plots of soap operas and you have the Nirvana of Drama. 

I’m bringing all of this up because Monica would like the world to know that speaking Spanish does not make you a character in those “horrible” (said in a thick Spanish accent) Telenovelas. We got on the subject because I shamelessly love Telenovelas and thought we could potential bond over this. I was wrong. We watched them weekly in my Spanish class in high school and it was easily my favorite day of the week. The over-the-top plot, the bad acting, and the crazy characters make my life seem mild and normal and I really like it. Monica, however, is of a very different opinion. I’m not kidding when I say we talked about how much she doesn’t like Telenovelas for forty-five minutes- this is real people. She feels like it makes all Spanish TV look stupid and she refuses to watch it. I asked her about American soap operas and although she doesn't like them either, she was not nearly as passionate in her dislike as she was with Spanish soaps. I guess we all have our things- mine being repetitive noises and mouth breathers- that just get under our skin.

To give you an idea of what I’m even talking about when I say “Telenovela,” I’m going to post a link to the pilot episode of one called Rebelde. This show is set at a Spanish speaking private school and it the most unrealistic, hilarious train wreck/hot mess you will ever watch in your life. This link is just 8 minutes of the first episode, but that’s more than enough to give you a feel for the rest of the show. Please- enjoy! Let me know when you get addicted.

Conversation Partner #4

      Monica, being the sweet soul that she is, always shows a genuine interest in helping me with my Spanish homework. While this is both very nice and helpful, it also reminds me how hard languages really are to learn. Obviously we think English is easy because we’ve grown up speaking it, but get us around and English speaker from Europe and suddenly things can become much more difficult. Unfortunately, that same concept applies to Spanish speakers from different nations. As much as the books would like to say there is, there is no “international Spanish” you can learn that will work perfectly everywhere. I am going on this rant because that’s exactly what Monica and I discovered during our last meeting. As I was showing her what I was studying for my upcoming test, she was constantly giving me “better” ways to say what was on the page from her perspective- the Venezuelan perspective. All of it made sense; it was just a matter of what sounded better to each of us. I know I’m kind of making this sound like we were arguing, but we weren’t. We actually ended up laughing at ourselves having 8574935743 different ways to say the same thing. Eventually, we ended up bonding over how difficult it is to get around languages simply because of slang and catchphrases. So many times we’ve caught each other saying some phrase that makes sense in one culture but not the other. Every time we explain it to the other and find out there’s a similar phrase in the other language that compares, but it’s just amazing how many of those we all have and how often we use them without even thinking about it. Let me give you some examples:

Catch-22- when there are two solutions to a problem but neither comes without a significant problem. I forget what her Spanish equivalent to this was, but as soon as I (poorly, I’m sure) explained what “Catch-22” meant, she fired her version right back at me.

Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. She’d been having an off day that week and as she was telling me about it I said something about it being Murphy’s Law that everything kept going awry. Again, she had no idea what Murphy’s Law was but knew exactly what I meant about when one thing goes wrong, everything else seems to follow suit.

This last one is slightly embarrassing, but yes, I did have to explain to my 50 something year old Conversation Partner what the Struggle Bus was. Being the typical catchphrase using college girl that I am, I accidently let that one slip in one of our conversations and it fascinated her. “But why are you on a bus?” was really her main question, but after some explaining and essentially saying “I don’t know, it doesn’t really make sense but we all seem to like to say it here” she become a converted fan. I’m currently waiting for her to throw it out in conversation during our next meeting. That would probably make my week. Even if she doesn’t, though, we both got a great laugh out of it at the time. Go catchphrases, amirite? 

Conversation Partner #3

            To those who know me, it will come as no surprise that I spent this week’s hour with Monica talking about food. I love food. I mean I know we all do, we kind of have to in order to survive. But I mean I would go to culinary school in my spare time if I could just to learn how to be a better cook, not because I have any interest in being a chef. Thankfully, Monica shares my love of food. Our main topic was the classic dishes of Venezuela- her native country. Contrary to popular belief, not all countries to speak Spanish serve the Tex-Mex we get here in the US. Venezuelan food, and most of the culture for that matter, is heavily influenced by Spanish (as in the country of Spain) culture, and thus European culture in general. Venezuelan food is not inherently spicy unlike a lot of Mexican food. Black beans are present in nearly every dish as is Maize. For your viewing pleasure, here are some of her favorite classic Venezuelan dishes…  

#1. Cachapa- a pancake like maize patty usually served with "Queso de mano" (handmade cheese)

#2. Hallacas- a tamale like dish using maize and plantain leaves and stuffed with different vegetables and meats.

#3. Arepa- a flatbread made from maize

These are just a couple of the dishes she described to me. I could tell by the tone of her voice that looking at her traditional food made her homesick. But the smile on her face and the excitement she showed when describing them made me want to try all of it. Anyone down to find a Venezuelan restaurant with me?